Tiny

He used to be this size, now is tiny. Since he was hospitalized, his weight has not been much convincing. I am concerned, sometimes my heart beating fast, worry is my 1st word when it comes to Akil Fatihin. I am sad sometimes, why he has not been taken care properly. I do not want to mumble about amanah, which most of the people know. It is your amanah to take care of the baby, i'm not asking you to be tip top. I am not fussy mother too, I seldom complaining. I know i cannot blame her of what she has done to Akil Fatihin, but truely it was her fault. Should i blame her for her laziness for not changing Akil's clothes when its wet. Sebab tu batuk dia tak baik2, baju basah tak tukar. Is it her fault or is it dugaan yg Allah want me to go thru? Ya Allah, please forgive all my sins.

We went to see Dr. Uncle yesterday morning. Akil Fatihin ada batuk and flu. As usual, he gave Serenide, Ventolin, Ubat Batuk, Flixonase and Zytec. I think he is indeed our Uncle's doctor. We have been seeing him almost every mth starting from October last year. Yes, every mth without stop and sometimes twice a month. One of the male nurse asked me, is he your uncle? when Akil was hospitalized. Eh, why did he asked that? I said, NO! Then, i asked him why he asked that? He said, nothing. Sahlah, muka kitaorg mmg dah kena cop - Dr. Uncle unofficial! Akil don't have to do the nebulizer, Thanks to Allah. Btw, we have to see Dr. Uncle in one mths time. :)

Yesterday, Akil jatuh dari katil. Before this, dia ada jatuh tp not so bad as yesterday. Alesya just woke up from her afternoon nap and asked me to take her stickers which she bought at the Hospital. Then, i asked Akif to look after Akil. When i left the room, i saw Akif holding Akil and within seconds, Akil dah jatuh. It was a loud sound. I was shocked and scolded Akif at the same time. Akil cried loudly and after a while i saw his pale face. Ya Allah, lindungilah anak ku ini.. I'm worried, i prayed that nothing will happen. I scolded Alesya too... So far, he is ok, still actively exploring like normal. I scolded Akif and Alesya so much these 2 days... Sometimes, i cannot bear having to take care of them all myself and at the same time to maintain the house clean. They are very creative in messing the house, innovative sometimes. So much works to do... and 'scolded' them which i menyesal after that.. Am i a bad mother? How i wish that he is not in shift works, its been like 7 years already. He is complaining too, to get rid of tht 'hell department' which makes him so much tense. In a good way, i can see that he keeps praying and praying to Allah. Oh, he just got back from his afternoon shift. See ya!